Well, its only been a few days since my husband left and i am already falling apart. I am trying not to but i am not succeeding. I am being productive, getting the things done that i am supposed to be doing, like ordering the water to be delivered and calling around to find the right landscaper for our yard: i want to get the rocks out and some grass in. But other than that i am not well. I tried to talk to my husband about it but he just isn't in to helping me with this. The only thing i get out of him is "i know" and "i'm sorry". I tell him repeatedly that that is not what is going to help and ask him why he is sorry. He says its cuz he's not here to help. He doesn't realize that just cuz he is not physically here doesn't mean he cant talk with me. He wont talk with me. He is cutting himself off emotionally, not too much more than already, but enough to hurt me. If i cant talk to him about things then who am i to talk to? I don't know what to do. I dont know who to ask. I am afraid i am going to shut him out emotionally and we won't have much of a marriage when he returns.
I am sure what i am feeling is temporary, but it is no less real. I just hope that i can find the strength to keep my spirits up and not resent him for leaving me alone to fend for myself (i mean emotionally).